I invited my friend to share her thoughts on Family Home Evening. I emailed her some questions, and her responses are amazing! I'm so grateful to her! Her attitude toward family and finding JOY in family life is inspiring. So now, I invite you to read what she had to say and then do what you can to share the blessings of FHE with others! If you have more questions about FHE when you're done, comment or visit this page for more information.
Good Morning!
I
believe the word enjoy is key to this
whole topic. Men are that they might have JOY. I think that as human beings we
all strive inside to be continuously joyous. However the world around us is
tough and the stresses of this world bring to light a lot of other natural
human emotions such as selfishness, impatience, anxiety, worry and pride. All
of which I am guilty of probably on a daily basis. Finding JOY in my family,
specifically my children, has been an ongoing life lesson for the last 7 years.
In no way whatsoever am I a pro at this child raising experience. Some days are
incredible and some days are excruciating. I think admitting failure and
praying and studying for guidance on how to overcome that failure the next day
is the only way to grow and become our true self. I whole heartedly believe we
are on this Earth to be tested, each of us in different ways. Each day will be
different. I don’t count the wins and losses when it comes to raising my kids.
Just what things work for us and what things don’t and try to grow our family
bond stronger each day so that the Spirt has a place to dwell in our Home. I
believe there is Hope for every family that desires to enjoy their family more.
It doesn’t happen overnight, and it takes a lot of work. I absolutely love this
quote from one of my favorite books titled When Calls the Heart. “One hast to
be willing to lose everything, in order to gain what God has shaped them for.
Because there is a cost for the things that matter most in life and it’s in
that sacrifice that we find our true treasure.”
I believe sacrifice brings us joy, pure and simple; whether it’s
physical, emotional, or even just our time. Family Home Evening is a sacrifice.
I spend lots of time preparing every week by studying and praying what topics
our family needs for that day. Every week doesn’t always go as planned but I
can feel the Spirit working in our home and having a home where the Spirt can
abide at ALL times is my goal as a Mother.
First of all, for those who don’t know, what is Family Home
Evening?
Family Home Evening is a term used by members
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Family Home Evening or FHE
as it is widely called is the idea of setting apart one night a week in your
family unit to learn and grow together. Traditionally it involves praying,
singing, a lesson, an activity and a delicious treat. :)
Is it just for Mormons or can family home evening be adapted to
fit all families and faiths?
Family Home Evening is for FAMILIES! Families
come from all faiths, sizes, backgrounds and locations. No matter what you
believe, Family together time is important. Traditional FHE doesn’t have to be
for everyone and just the idea of spending one night a week to be together as a
Family is what is key.
Your posts about your family home evenings make me think of what
Elder Scott taught in his 2014 October
Conference talk: "Be cautious not to make your family home evening just
an afterthought of a busy day." Your lessons, while
simple, seem to be very deliberate and pertain to what's currently going on in
your family's lives. Can you tell us about your planning process?
I try to always have something planned and
organized because I feel that being more organized with less chaos allows for
more learning, but sometimes we just wing it and allow the Spirit to show us
where the discussion or the activity needs to flow. I in no way take credit for
all the amazing lesson ideas or plans. We are so incredibly blessed to live in
a time where so much knowledge is right at our fingertips. Some ideas are my
own but most come from other incredible families all over the internet who
graciously share things they have done. By taking special time out of my week
to study and search out specific topics I not only get to plan some amazing FHE
nights but also I learn and grow so much from these other families along the
way.
What resources do you use for creating
your lessons or getting ideas?
I take bits and pieces from things I find
online on Pinterest, youtube, use stories and quotes from LDS General
Conferences and magazines and the scriptures. I then pray to know what other
personal touches need to be added for my family.
Who gives the lesson each week in your family?
My children are between the
ages of 1 – 7. As of now I have taken on the responsibility of planning FHE
night and giving the lessons with my husband right by my side giving lots of
input and comments throughout each lesson. We try to get together with another
family or cousins for one of the nights each month to try and spice it up and
lean on each other for love and support. It truly does take a village!
How far in advance do you plan the lessons?
I try and use the week before
to plan. Some lessons I break into parts so I can have a whole monthly theme.
Some I totally change the day of because I feel prompted to discuss with our
kids something that happened just that day. I think listening and being in tune
with what your family’s needs will make it most meaningful.
If someone wanted to start having family night, what should they do?
Talk it over with your spouse.
Support is important when trying to implement change. Make it fun! Make it a
priority! Don’t stress too much at the beginning or you will get worn out. Bit
by bit do what you can to integrate it in to your family’s life so it becomes a
family tradition and sticks forever!
What has helped you to be consistent in having weekly
FHE, or what would you recommend to those who have a hard time holding it
regularly?
Start by PUTTING IT ON THE
CALENDAR. I firmly believe in having a family calendar shared by everyone in
the family and going over the next day with everyone in the evening before
family prayer. Communication is so key in helping daily life go as smoothly as
possible. There has to be a middle ground between spending every extra hour and
dollar in your week to make props and treats and just making everyone sit
around the table and read a conference talk. Finding the balance and what works
best for you, knowing that it can change throughout your families growth and
worlds responsibilities and being open to that change will allow you to not be
so stressed about making the “perfect” FHE night. Do what works for your
family, but DO IT.
What changes/blessings have you noticed from having
a weekly family night?
My kids have loved it! I have
already caught them multiple times talking to each other about past weeks and
reminding each other the lessons we learned. My 7 year old has already asked to
plan his own lessons and I am excited to help him do that. Personally I have
noticed an increase of love in our home and the spirit in my life. It helps me
to study Gods words more often and learn to be more in tune with each of my
children and their own personal needs.
I also think of Elder
Anderson's talk from April 2013: "For those using the
Internet and mobile phones, there are new ways to invite others to “come and
see.” Let’s make sharing our faith online more a part of our daily life.
LDS.org, Mormon.org, Facebook, Twitter—all provide opportunities." Is
this why you share your family night experiences on Facebook?
I share our
experiences online for a few reasons. First, because I want to document them
for future use and posterity; journal keeping is so important to me. Second, it
keeps me accountable for continuing to make it a priority and not just a fun
fad that fades when our responsibilities get tough. Third, because it is so fun
to hear friends feedback and see what others ideas are! We are all so much more
alike in our life experiences and hope and dreams than we realize and finding
things to bring people together is amazing to me. Fourth, and most important,
sharing my love for the Gospel and my Savior through these small FHE posts
helps me to be brave and realize that being true to myself and my convictions
whether online or in person can bring JOY to not only my family, but to all
those we come in contact with.
I'd love for more people to be
inspired by your example. I don't know much about hashtags. Does
your hashtag, mckayfhe2015 make it so anyone can follow you?
Yes! If you
click on the hashtag or type in the hashtag to search it, it will bring up all
my FHE posts in one screen to see so you don’t have to go through all my
pictures and find them. :) My profile is private for just friends to see but if
you attach a hashtag then anyone searching that hashtag will be able to see
those specific pictures.
Is there anything else you'd like to share? I
totally love how you share your family night experiences. What a great way to
bear testimony and share the gospel with others. And in sharing the way you
teach your children, it's easy for anyone of any faith to understand and feel the spirit.
Sharing our FHE nights is still pretty new to
me. I haven’t yet decided if I want to make anything public yet. I think
helping out friends and family might be enough for now but we will see. :) The
prophets have told us that if we find a time to make FHE a priority we will be
blessed. I believe that one of the blessings that has come to me personally and
our family as a whole is JOY. I believe that’s what motherhood is all about,
finding joy in in our families through Christ. Thanks for reading my posts and
giving me positive feedback to continue on! Friends are the best!
Brooke
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